Home Four Months Today

It was four months ago today that we came home as a family of seven, greeted by family and friends at the airport. I will never forget the relief of seeing so many of those who had supported us every step of the way and how it felt to fall into the arms and embrace those we love. We were coming off the most emotional week of our lives and were so glad to be home. I remember stepping out through the front doors of the airport into the very hot and steamy night, almost like walking into a furnace. It was such a change from the beautiful and temperate weather we enjoyed while in Ethiopia.

I remember being afraid that Hailab Turner would not like riding in a carseat. We had help while in ET to translate and prepare Hailab for sitting in a car seat once we came to America. When we were loading up in the van to leave the airport, he got in and saw his carseat. He called it his special seat and got in and buckled up with great pride. Preparing him in ET really helped.

Funny how when we were waiting and preparing, it was hard to look to the future and imagine what life was going to be like. We did our adoption training and read books, but like most things in life, most of our learning has come by experience. We have made many mistakes in these first months home and wish I could re-do some of my responses to my children's behavior. Even when I knew not to take things personally, I did and sometimes still do if I am not careful. It's a good thing we get to wake up each day and start over. I thank Jesus for the opportunity to start fresh each morning and for the strength that only He provides in the midst of struggles and strife. I pray over all of our kids for Jesus to fill in the cracks that I leave behind when I lose my patience and don't parent the way that I want. I pray for protection for all of our children, that the enemy would not have any strongholds on them because of adoption. I pray especially that our adopted children know they are special and so dearly loved and that God has a beautiful plan for bringing them to us to be our children. Sometimes that plan seems a little confusing when they are grieving and missing their birth mom and Ethiopia in general. They really miss Ethiopia and that isn't something that I can fix. Time heals and we'll walk through our adjustment for as long as needed. It reminds me of this post from last September about God's timing. I think what I wrote in that post is still so fitting in this different season we are in now:

"So we wait. And we pray.

Thank you, God, for this time of waiting. Some days will be difficult, we know... Help us make the most out of this time and place a peace in a little person's heart in Ethiopia tonight. Help him or her to know that they will be a part of a family again. We trust you, knowing that you are working your perfect timing into this situation. We pray that it is you who is glorified and praised in the midst of our planning and preparation. Please don't let us ever forget that we, too, are orphans given a place in your family because of Jesus' amazing act of love and grace on a nasty, ugly cross. Amen"

Even as it is starting to get dark this evening, I hear the sounds of kids playing outside. We live on a farm and have a refuse pile of old, broken pallets. What a treasure to children with wonderful imaginations! All five of the kids have worked together to build a little house for themselves. It is made from all kinds of scraps and pieces of just 'stuff' they have found around the farm. There may even be a tool or two of Dustin's that he'll have to go and reclaim! It has a door and a window and I think they were painting it this afternoon. As soon as they have it finished, I'll take a picture and share it.

I wonder where we will be in four months from now. No matter what the situation or season, we'll be held safe in the Father's arms. And that's a good place to be.

Photos (Finally!)

I have become one of those bloggers that used to frustrate me. You know, the ones who blogged regularly until they came home with their child/ren and NEVER blogged again! Come on! Just like Paul Harvey, we want to read the rest of the story!

I now have a better understanding of those bloggers. There is NO time!

Wow. Where do I begin. I have started this post a thousand times in my head. I promised myself I wouldn't go to bed tonight until I wrote something because once Monday starts, the whole week is a flurry of activity, chaos, rowdy kids with loud voices and homework!

A second part of my lack of posting has been the extremely difficult days we have walked through as a family of seven. I have struggled with wanting to be transparent for other waiting AP's and also for those that may be considering becoming adoptive parents. At the same time, our children have walked some hard, long, difficult days and I don't want to dishonor them by spilling the details of their actions and behavior as they are learning life in America as part of our family. It's been rough. It's been more than rough. But, we are in such a better place than we were two months ago. For the most part, the twins have almost given into the fact that I'm their mom and they really aren't in charge around here. At least they hesitate before arguing with me about every thing that comes out of my mouth! I may be stretching the truth a bit because they really have come a long way since our first days home in July. They have incredibly great manners and remember their please and thank you's more often than our bio kids. They love to joke and tease, especially Hailab Turner. They like routine and change is really difficult for them. They like knowing what is happening next. They even ask me sometimes, "What are we doing tomorrow? When we go to bed and get up, what are we doing the next day? When we go to bed and get up, what are we doing the day after that?

We've been home four months. The last three weeks have been completely different around the house in such a good and positive way. We are so thankful.

I've added pictures from this fall. Don't we look like one big happy family?!? In an effort to stay as transparent as possible in blogland, many of these pictures are great but I don't have photos of the difficult and painful days. And if I did, I wouldn't show them anyway. (I do have one great picture of Turner pouting. I just might use when he turns 16 or 21 or 30 for a good roast!)

We are glad to answer any questions anyone may have about our experiences. Our heart is to help others be more aware of the gift of adoption, and the ability we all have to help orphans in some way or another.

I will do my best to post before another two months fly by!

Good old fashioned roller skating!

Ellyn Yeabsira and Hailab Turner standing on Ethiopia on the large scale globe at the zoo.

My sweet sister, niece and Madison.

I love this picture!

It's good to grow old together. We met over 20 years ago.

Our small town festival. Our family always has a float in the parade.

Nanna kisses!

Carving pumpkins and roasting seeds. It was a great afternoon!

They wanted to race their bikes and asked me to say, "Ready, steady, go!" (Ready, steady go is their verson of ready, get set, go. It always makes me smile when they say it.)

Playing in the yard!

The four youngest kids set up lawn chairs for Dustin and me to watch them play football. Some were in coats, some in sweats and one with no shirt! Hilarious!

Corinne Meserat

Brothers

P.J. day at school. The kids dressed up each day as part of Red Ribbon Week. The girls kept telling me they were stomping out the drums in their school. (Drums, drugs... you know it sounds almost the same!) They weren't too sure about wearing their pajamas to school. It took a little coaxing. I bet they think America is pretty weird sometimes.

Trick or Treat!

Madison and her good friend. I have to say, I didn't know who Thing 1 and Thing 2 were at first. You know, from Dr. Seuss! I thought they were way too cute and so creative!

A funny story... our neighbor and I trade off driving our kids to school each week. One morning one of her girls was saying, "Trick or treat! Smell my feet!" One of the twins gave her a strange look and asked in her cute Amharic/English accent, "You want ME to smell YOUR feet?!?"

Melkam Enkutatash

The kids got home from school today and I greeted them with "Melkam Enkutatash!" Luckily I pronounced it correctly and they knew what I was talking about! They were surprised that I knew about the Ethiopian New Year. I asked them what they did on Enkutatash and they said something to do with yellow flowers and a coffee ceremony. One of the twins said they eat doro (chicken) on Enkutatash, but the other two said no, they don't eat chicken on Enkutatash. They showed me how the kids wore drums around their necks and the girls wore dresses. I think maybe there was an exchange of coins or food.

I told them that we celebrate New Year's Day on January 1st. They asked what we do on that day. I went to the pantry and showed them black eyed peas. They said they eat them, too. They asked me, "What else?" I told them no school, no work and usually football on T.V. and good food.

I asked the kids what year it is in America and they answered 2009. I asked them if they knew what year it was now in Ethiopia. They again answered 2009, but I said, "No, do you remember what year it is?" They looked puzzled. I reminded them it was 2001 and today it is 2002 in Ethiopia. They gave me an ah-ha look as they remembered from Ethiopia!

Melkam Enkutatash!

Turning the Corner to Feel a Fresh, New Breeze in the Air

Life is happening around our house. Some good, some rotten, some fantastic and some very, very normal stuff. Some days have been more difficult than I thought I could handle. Others have been filled with beautiful smiles and sweet sharings.

I really feel like we have turned a corner this week... one for the better. There has been an easier spirit around the house, smiles appear without guarded hesitation and laughter has been deeper and richer than ever before. One of our sweet Ethiopian children has struggled with their emotions and had lots of anger, sometimes raging, and major defiance. Understandable. A child. A hurting child. Sometimes a very confused child. (I have to admit it is very difficult to remember all this in the heat of the battle, I mean moment!) We watched as this sweet one started down a road of anger and discontent on Tuesday, we saw all the signs as the situation began to unravel. And yet they were able to use words and share tears and tell me what they were feeling, moving away from the normal anger response. I stopped what I was doing and we just sat in the grass. This child talked a little, but mostly we just sat together as I rocked this sweet one in my lap. Our child was able to recover and move back into the family happenings with cheerfulness. Amazing! Yes, we have turned a corner. One of our other children was able to talk about personal feelings with more freedom shortly after all this happened. I think they, too, sensed change in the air.

Even as tangible as this feels, I am trying not to set myself up for disappointment if we encounter more tantrums. But this beautiful change feels like a glorious spring day after a long, hard, cold winter. God IS good. God IS faithful. God has provided in so many ways and we thank Him for the good work He has done, is doing and will continue to do in the lives of all our children and in ours.

...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

We have our first post placement visit today. Needless to say, our house doesn't look quite as spotless as it did when we had our homestudy. Funny how seven people in the house changes things!

African Thunderstorm

I first saw this video when my dear friend Kristine posted it on her blog with a dedication to our family. I absolutely LOVE this version of Toto's 'Africa,' mostly because it sounds just like the rain on our roof when we were in Ethiopia. We were there just as the rainy season began. It rained every night and the days were clear and beautiful with the exception of one afternoon. And if you, too, love 80's music then this one will zing you back a few years!

BTW, Kristine and her husband have four amazing kids, three of which are from Russia. Several years ago God used Kristine's family to water the seeds of adoption He had placed in our hearts. She's always posting new stuff to her blog and I would encourage you to stop by and visit her!

First Day of School

I cannot believe we've been home four weeks and the kids started school today. We now have a 7th grader, a 4th grader, two 1st graders and a Pre-K student. It was a great day. All the kids were excited about the first day of school. Hailab Turner went to school in the afternoon and then I picked them all up when school was over. The car was filled with little voices telling me all about the events of today all the way home. Truly a wonderful day!

I surprised myself today. As I was leaving Turner's class after dropping him off, I turned and had a lump in my throat. It really caught me off guard. We are starting to feel like family and the lump in my throat is such a good indication of all the good that is yet to come. Once more, praising God for the good things He is doing in all of our hearts!

Sadness and a Haircut

Our two big kids were getting ready for bed while I ended a book and prayed with our three little ones. Up until today, the kids prayed in Amharic. They would pray and say, "Amen." several times during their prayers. They laughed at me the first time when one said, "Amen," and then I thought it was my turn and started praying. They tried to tell me they pray a little, then say amen, pray a little more, say amen, etc. They got a good chuckle over me!

Well, tonight... the kids all prayed in English and it made me sad. I almost wanted to stop them and ask them to pray in Amharic because it sounds so beautiful and sweet. Not that their prayers tonight weren't pure and childlike, it's just change. One that I wasn't quite ready for, but one that is inevitable. It made me sad.

On a lighter note, I took Hailab Turner to get a haircut this afternoon before school starts this week. I went to the barber shop and told the very kind Korean woman to cut it short. I didn't think a thing about it. Until I looked up from my magazine! Turner was a millimeter from being bald. I am very thankful he didn't see the shocked look on my face! We got in the car and Turner said, "Me no like haircut," and then grinned. He was teasing me, and yes, he did like his haircut!

Ending the fourth day in a row without a tantrum! Thanking God for the work He is doing in all of our hearts!

Roses and Thorns

Roses:

-Bedtimes are still pretty smooth. The kids like the routine of a short movie after bath and pajamas, brush teeth, book, prayers and lights out. Thanking God for small accomplishments.

-We are working on our third day without a tantrum! (Sh... shouldn't say that too loud and jinx ourselves! ha) Dustin and I high-fived one another last night when all kids were asleep in bed, feeling encouraged by a second day IN A ROW without a meltdown! Praising God for the BIG accomplishments.

-Dustin got a completely unsolicited, "I love you" from one sweet little child last night at bedtime. He said it was wonderful!

-Giggles are contagious! How wonderful when any one of the five kids giggle. It is joyful and usually ends up causing others to join in the fun. Hearing our younger kids' laughter reminds us of great times when Madison and Sage were younger. As my mom would say, "It's all good!"


Thorns:

-The constant barrage of "Me no __________________." Fill in the blank with anything and it will fit into the current theme at our house. Me no eat. Me no brush teeth. Me no like. Me no swim. Me no boat (they love the boat.) Me no dress. Me no underwear. Me no watch movie. Me no THIS book. Me no car. Me no eat eggs (they love eggs.) Me no car. Get the picture? This is really our biggest struggle right now. We continue to use joking and mocking and it does help lighten the mood when a little person puts their foot down and begins with their current, "Me no..." It does get wearisome though. Dustin and I really try to stay positive and know it won't last forever.

-Dragging Feet! And this has absolutely nothing to do with adopted children, just children in general! Dustin and I have had to re-adjust to younger kiddos. We forgot how long it takes to simply load up in the car to go somewhere. Jeesh! I have had to watch the clock a little better and plan add time to whatever the schedule is just to get in the car and get seat belts on. It's getting better. Well, actually, Dustin and I are just getting better!

Praising God that there are more roses than thorns. All in all, each day offers more hope to getting into the groove of a new and improved, larger family. It's tough, it's a whole lot of work. But we are truly thankful!

Flowers? Children? Jesus Follower?

"He who would have nothing to do with thorns

must never attempt to gather flowers."

--Unknown

I could expound on the many ways this quote speaks to me at this season in our lives, but I think I will leave it as is.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Me No Like, Me No Eat

We hear this at EVERY meal from one particular member of our family. It doesn't matter what it is. It can even be something that she likes. It was getting very old. And on top of it, she always ended up eating everything on her plate. She just had to get her complaints out first.

So... Dustin started beating her to the punch when a meal was served. As we were putting plates on the table one night and saw her bottom lip push out, Dustin said with a mocking tone, "Me no like. Me no eat." A little brown-eyed girl looked up at him, wondering what he was doing. She even chuckled (a little bit.) It worked! Now at every meal, it has become a little bit of a game. We still see the bottom lip every once in awhile, but at least she doesn't push her plate away! Woo Hoo! One score for Team Parents!

We have also heard, "Me no school" from our littlest guy. He has said this many times since we've been home from Ethiopia. Today we went and toured the school. It just so happened that his teacher was working in her room. And the room is wonderful! It is every child's dream classroom! After just a few minutes, Hailab Turner was really enjoying himself. When we got in the car to leave I looked at him and said, "Me no school?!?" Turner's response was, "YES MOM! Yes, me school!"

Sometimes a little mock just does the trick!

Week Three in Pictures

Our neighbor's dog, Sparky, came to visit. The kids loved him especially since he was so much smaller than Zeus, our Great Dane.

After a nearly traumatizing visit to our pediatrician, all was well at the park. Hailab froze when the doctor checked him over, but the girls were in complete hysterics. I told them before the visit that their doctor was very tall. They said, "Like Travis?" Many of you know Travis Norwood, one of the in-country staff and yes, he is tall! Our pediatrician was great with the kids. No poking, no shots, nothing painful. He was very gentle yet firm in his observations, not wanting to scar them for the next time they came to the doctor.

Our dear friend, Lynn Ann, allowed us to come and spend the afternoon at her house. One of the kids' friends recently went home with her forever family to California. The kids all know that their friend's new family has horses and have been asking about horses since we met them. Lynn Ann introduced them to curry combs, saddle blankets, bits, halters and horse shoes. They tolerated their ride on Shorty, the small horse, but their eyes were really on Cowboy, the big horse.

Lynn Ann's house is also the place to find turkey's, peacocks, dogs, cats, goats and yes, the occasional rattle snake. We waded in her pond and enjoyed brownies and watermelon for a late afternoon snack.

I love the kids' English. They use the word 'small' for anything little: a small push on the swing, shallow water (small water), small drink, small time finishing a movie (small more, Mom, please), small dog, small horse, etc.

Beamlak on Shorty

Yeabsira on Shorty

Sage on Cowboy

Hailab on Shorty

We all went to pick Madison up from church camp on Friday. All four kids were so happy to see her. She had a wonderful week and I am so thankful for her time away in such a beautiful campground, learning more about her Savior from others who love Jesus, too.

We went to the lake this afternoon and tried the boat out on the water for the first time in almost two years. We were unsure how the kids would like it, but after a little hesitation, all loved splashing and playing. They even asked for more when Dustin took us all for a pretty fast ride. I didn't take our camera and missed many great photo ops. We picked up hamburgers and ate at the park on our way home from the lake.

Dustin is putting the kids to bed as I finish up this post. Bedtimes are usually met with dragging feet, wanting to sleep in every body's bed but their own, and general anxiety/sadness/anger/teariness. I think it is the time of day when emotions are revisited, bodies are tired, and it's easy to become cranky. I don't expect bedtimes to get much easier for awhile as I think it will just take time. At least they wake up happy and cheerful, which is a wonderful start to the day. Not that they always stay that way, but at least we usually start off good!

The kids have also been asking about church ever since we came home. We are going to attempt church services in the morning. I am more worried about me than anyone else. We always had a hard time getting four of us off to church without being late... what will seven be like? Mom, don't answer that question!

Beginning Week Three

It's hard to believe that we became a family of seven just two short weeks ago. Madison left for church camp this morning. The kids asked where she was when they woke up. I got out the calendar and showed them today was Monday and that Madison would be back on Friday. They asked me several times, "Madison go and then come? Yes? Madison go and them come home?" Then we counted the days and they were happy to know Madison would be home in four days. It's Mad's first time away for a week and I think I will miss her terribly! She was so excited to go and I pray it will be a fun and rich time for her. I am amazed at how big she is getting. She is such a wonderful helper with the kids. It's a little hard for her to not hold Hailab, but she understands how important it is for our new kids to look to Dustin and me to meet their needs physically and emotionally.

Dustin's parents invited us for dinner tonight. They cooked fish that Dustin's dad caught in a nearby lake. Dustin's parents also have a really pretty fish pond in their yard. The kids loved looking at and feeding the goldfish in the pond. When we were telling the kids we were having fish for dinner, Yeabsira pointed to the pond, made a slicing motion across her neck and pointed to her mouth. She was asking me if we were eating the fish in the pond. I assured her no, we were not eating the goldfish. It was pretty humorous!

Our biggest struggle today was again, battle of the wills. Simple requests like, "It's time to brush our teeth!" or "It's time to take a bath!" are often met with a pout and someone sitting down and refusing to move. Sometimes I am able to love the child through the pout/tantrum/meltdown and other times my own frustration gets the best of me. The times that I am able to quietly say, "O.K. Stay here if you like but we are going to do _______" often end up with the best results. A few things that were always met with resistance, like asking the kids to go to the potty before we get in the car or potty before we go to bed, are slowly easing up. It's a good feeling.

Our biggest joy today was unprompted kindness, a surprise kiss and a fun time on the bed (all of us except Madison) before reading a book.

Sage was such a ham when he was younger. It's fun to have another little ham in the house again:

A Few More Photos

Saying goodbye to our amazing driver, Beki. We all miss him very much. The kids asked to see a picture of him tonight.

One of the three like our dog, Zeus. The other two squeal when he walks in their direction.

Cinderelli, Cinderelli... we watch it several times a day when the kids aren't out riding their bishkalets (bicycles)!

The last two days have been wonderful in comparison to our first three days home. Tantrums have decreased significantly. The kids are eating so well. We ran into the grocery story today and one of the twins saw radishes and asked to buy them. (Yuck! Radishes!) She said she liked them, so we will see. Either they ate radishes in ET or something that looked similar.

It's been an interesting week. One of my dearest friends was describing how it felt the day you wake up and you don't think of your kids as adopted, they are just your kids. That will be a great day. I so want to "feel" like family and yet I know I can't force it on me or them. It just takes time.

Almost everything is unpacked. My sister is here for the weekend and I think she did at least 10 loads of laundry yesterday. She also organized a menu for next week and helped me keep my head on straight long enough to purchase all the needed groceries. We are amazed at the food consumption around here. My goodness, I've never seen kids put so much food in such little tummies. Hailab has gained almost two pounds! A typical day includes several bananas, apple, peanut butter sandwich, eggs, toast, milk, casserole, salad, fruit salad. We really can almost set our watch to them saying, "I'm hungry" every two hours. My grocery budget requires a complete overhaul. But that is not a complaint! We are so glad to see them eat so well. One of the girls turned her nose up at a small serving of salad one evening. I asked her to take one small bite and then she didn't have to eat anymore. The next time I looked at her plate was clean and she said she liked the salad! I think it was the ranch dressing that she liked!

We're good. Not perfect. Not happy all the time. But happy a lot of the time and that means a whole lot to us.

Pictures in Reverse Order

I loaded a few random photos from the last week. Then I realized blogger loaded them in reverse order and I am way too tired to fix it. (Those of you who know me best, know that this would drive me crazy, but hey, I'm learning to be flexible!)

The kids have been begging to go swimming since we were in ET. They saw the pool at the Hilton one afternoon when we were exchanging currency. We told them we would go swimming in America and they didn't let us forget it! Today's trip to the pool was our first venture out of the house and I was a little unsure any/all kids would have a meltdown in public. Sure enough, while getting into the car after leaving the pool, one kiddo had a full fledged screaming fit over a seat belt.

Our first night home. We had way too many toys available for the kids and they were overloaded. I think they fell asleep watching a Cinderella movie. (Again, much flexibility required on my part... I hate messes like this in the house! I think I'm beginning to sound a little OCD.)

Exhausted girls in the Denver airport.

An everyday sight on the streets of Addis.

A beautiful outdoor lunch at Addis Rodeo, a restaurant near our guest house.

Saying goodbye at the foster care centers. The care givers are really amazing. As painful as it was to watch them say goodbye, we loved seeing how much love was shared between our kids and those who took such good care of them in the Gladney houses.

A picture taken on a little balcony of one of the Gladney houses.

Sweet smiles at the guest house.

Waiting to meet our kids! Everyone was asleep but me.

So Glad to Be Home!

We are home!  We left for the airport in Addis at 7:00 p.m. Sunday evening or 10:00 a.m. CST.  Get this... we arrived home at our house at 5:00 a.m. Tuesday morning.  Just in case you are wondering, YES, IT WAS HORRIBLE!  Our flight was late leaving Addis and our refueling stop in Rome took an extra hour.  We arrived late in D.C. and so we missed our second flight.  We sat in D.C. for over seven hours and finally caught our second flight.   Our third and final flight was not to our original destination.   Because our third flight did not get us to our original destination, we had an additional three hour drive home.  Coffemom and her family were in Addis last week also, and I was so glad I had her to share in the long trip home.  Her Marta is so very sweet and was beaming each time I saw her.  

We finally arrived in our house at 5:00 a.m. on Tuesday morning.  Over 40 hours of traveling.  H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!

Yesterday was tough.  We read to have just a few toys for the kids and I thought we had limited the toys in their rooms.  No, we didn't.  I guess one toy per room would have been better because we spent the entire day yesterday hearing two little girls determining each toy as MINE.  By last night, I was so tired of being a referee.  

We all slept between 12 and 15 hours last night, which was great for everyone.   Madison and I got up at 5:30 this morning and put away a bunch of toys, so today has been better.  The kids English is so much better than we were expecting and that is a huge blessing.  The most common words said at home so far are:  mine, come, play, swing, eat, drink, juice, doll, glasses.

The kids have asked for bananas, peanut butter on bread, juice, milk, apples and grapes.  They eat about every two hours.  Travis told us in ET to keep plenty of food available as it would help with emotions (always helps with mine!)  We've carried the advice through to here also.  The other advice we received in ET was to be flexible.  And being flexible here at home has been a life saver for my sanity.

The very best thing that we took with us to ET were little, cheapy picture albums filled with all the pictures we had of the kids from Gladney and other APs.  Then we also put in photos of family, house, dogs and their school.  They poured over the albums.  They loved telling us their friends who were in the background of their pictures and they loved naming all of our family, "Grandmuzzer, Grandfazzer, Kusin, Sister, etc."

I kept a journal while in Addis.  I hope to take excerpts and post them here in the next few days.  Haven't looked at our pictures yet, and hope time allows for that soon.

This morning we pulled up a few blogs of the kids' friends that now live in "A-merr-i-ka."  They loved seeing them.  They are playing on the swing set right now, where it is a mere 108 degrees outside.  Dustin's parents gave us a great swing set with Madison and Sage were smaller.  It has a few swings, slide, stairs, climbing ropes and two "tree houses" mounted at the top.  I turned my back for a few minutes and one of the girls was on top of the roof of a treehouse!  Oh my!

Not to give the idea that all is a bed of roses at our home, we experience fits often, sometimes egged on by a sibling and sometimes for reasons we do not understand.  We hold them close and hug them through it, even when they try to push us away.  We know it is a part of the process and I tell myself often that it certainly not personal.  It's just kids trying to cope the best they can.  Sometimes we see beautiful smiles with unprompted 'thank you's' and sometimes we see some one of them take a toy and throw it across the room away from their sibling.  Sweetness and goodness mixed with hurt, confusion and grieving.

Sorry for the scattered thoughts, but wanted to post something just to let everyone know we were home and alive!

Heading Home Tomorrow

Another double post, one for the blog and the other for family and friends.
 
I sat and typed a long note, hit send and the internet connection ended.  Ugh!
 
We are all good.  Madison is getting her hair braided by one of the employees of the guest house.  The three littlest kiddos are engrossed in Tom and Jerry.  Sage is in bed with a fever.  We are just hoping he feels better and we can get on the plane without any problems.
 
The "honeymoon" period ended last night.  They are still wonderful, they are still funny, lively and joy-filled.  It's just that they are starting to be a little more transparent.  All of our training and reading is coming in handy as none of this has been a surprise.
 
We have enjoyed every second of our time in Ethiopia.  I once heard someone talk about taking a trail ride on horseback.  The horses are great on the trip out, clip-clopping along at a nice even pace.  But once you turn the horses around, it's all you can do to keep the horses from trotting because they know they are heading home.  I feel like a horse. 
 
I don't want to take water and electricity for granted any more.  But, with time I imagine it will happen.  Every other day without electricity means every other day without running water.  And when the water is running, you still can't drink it.  Home sounds heavenly, just wish it didn't take so long to get there.
 
I should start moving the kids to bed.  We are going to an International Evangelical church service in the morning.  We are looking forward to it.  We toured a church on Wednesday.  On our way out the door to get in the car, the girls grabbed their head scarves.  Women cover their head for prayer at church and it was so sweet to see our girls do what they know.
 
Much love from all of us.  We can't wait to meet everyone at the airport.  Even though we have been talking about it to the kids, I still think they may be surprised and a little fearful when they get to meet everyone.  We have told them that family and friends will be there just to see them and will probably hug and kiss all over them.  We told Hailab he will have to sit in a car seat in America.  Instead of frowning, he beamed.  He puffed his little chest out and said, "Special seat!"  It was priceless.
 
Please pray for Sage, that he feels better tomorrow.  I cannot imagine anything much worse than traveling for 30 hours when you feel rotten.
 
We love you all and again, can't wait for the kids to meet you.  It's been a wild week!
 
Signing out from Addis,
Dustin, Nikki, Madison, Sage, Meseret (aka Beamlak), Yeabsira and last but not least, Hailab

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Alive in Addis

Killing two birds with one stone... sending this to family/friends as well as posting on the blog:



WE ARE ALIVE! Today is the first day the modem has worked in our guest house. We have SO much to share.

The kids are wonderful! We expected the worst and have experienced as good as we could have ever hoped/prayed for. YOU WILL LOVE THEM! The placement (adoption term for hand-off) was extremely difficult with long, hard cries from the kids and then of course from Dustin and me. One of the guest house employees quietly joined us and spoke so softly and tenderly to the children and helped in the transition. His name is Cannon (sp?) and he didn't know us from Adam, and yet served us so generously by helping with the kids. I could write for days, but don't know how long the internet connection will stay up.

Ethiopia... no words. Simply no words. Dustin and I have raw, open sores on our hearts. I wonder if they will ever heal. We have seen things that shouldn't be. And yet, the people are very open, very kind and loving.... beautiful people.

Today was extremely difficult. We visited three Gladney houses, one for infants, one for toddlers and then the older kids home where our kids lived. It was all that Dustin and I could do to keep from openly sobbing as the children said goodbye to the care givers and friends who have been their family for the last 15 months. And the children in the homes... All beautiful, all deserving of a family to love them. I can't wait to share pictures. Dustin already picked out an older boy that he was ready to start paperwork to come back and get. (Dustin was so relieved when I told him that I knew that particular boy was in the process of being adopted, the boy just doesn't know it yet.) The care givers are amazing and you could tell how very much they loved our children. Each time our children went into one of the houses, the care givers squealed and loved and kissed and held each of them.

What else can I say without writing a book? The kids are amazing. They speak enough English for us to get by and have already picked up on so much. They love teaching us Amharic words. Haileb will sound an Amharic word out to us so that we repeat each sylable after him. Then he will change the last sylable and look at us and die laughing. He is a clown. Yeabsira is very sweet and loving as is Meseret. They are definatley siblings who are loving each other, caring for one another, sharing with one another and then the next minute whacking each other on the head. (We were warned in advance that the culture is very physical, so it was nice to have a warning the first time one whacked the other one. It bothers Sage terribly when they hit one another.)

There is just so much more. Dustin and I wake up each morning at 2:30 a.m. (5:30 p.m. time at home) and can't go back to sleep. We actually haven't minded much because it's the only time of day that all is silent and we get a chance to talk and reflect on all we have experienced and retell funny stories of all the kids. BTW, I never would have believed I could survive three days with little to no running water and little to no electricity. There is a huge shortage of electricity so the government shuts off all the power at least every other day. In addition a water pipe broke the morning we arrived and the guest house staff have hauled water up to our rooms in bucket so the toilets will flush and we can have bucket baths. When you are stinky and have yucky hair, cold water from a bucket for a bath really isn't THAT bad. We were so glad when the water was fixed last night. Madison almost did a halelujah chorus when she got to take a hot bath this morning (the electricity came back on, too!)

Our request, again, is for prayers for Friday when we meet Amarech. Today was so hard at the children's homes that we can't imagine what Friday will be like. Will the kids feel pulled in their loyalty to their birth mom and to their new family. What does a child feel in their shoes. Tears sting my eyes at the thought.

Love from Addis!

Dustin, Nikki, Madison, Sage, Meseret, Yeabsira and last, but not least, Hailab

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We Leave Tomorrow!

Gladney sent this last photo of the kids from ET last week. We leave tomorrow! We'll spend tomorrow night in DC and then leave for ET on Sunday morning. We think it's kind of cool that we'll spend the Fourth of July in our country's capital.

We will attempt to blog from ET, but also realize that the events of the week may be so overwhelming that we even forget we own a computer. That and the internet service may not be very consistent.

We arrive in ET at 8:00 on Monday morning, midnight on Sunday here at home. We are so ready to love on our kids and have all five together!

Multi Tasking Post - Need Your Help

1. Thank You #1: A huge shout out to those of you who have shared pictures and even video (thank you Rebecca!) of our kids! They are priceless. It is a huge encouragement to me to do the same for other families when we get back. I really want to re-read all of our comments and send individual thank-you through comments on each of your blogs. I hope I find the time to do it because we really do thank you for taking a few moments to comment.

2. Travel Advice: Any travel advice from you seasoned adoptive parents? What did you forget to take with you to ET that you really wished you had? I have a pretty good packing list, but I know that in the excitement of the next few weeks I will miss something that seems little but could be of huge help on the trip. How did you survive the grueling trip home with your children? It looks like we are staying at the New Flower Guesthouse. Has anyone stayed there?

3. Thank You #2: I entered the blog world wanting to keep our extended family up to date on our adoption and journal a little bit for Yeabsira, Meserat and Haileb. I intended to stay rather anonymous out on the web, never really intending to become a blog stalker, to network with other families or even create amazing friendships with people I may never meet face to face. And yet is has happened, and more! I had read other's blog about their thankfulness about the adoption blog community and thought, "Oh, that's nice." Wow! I get it now! You guys are amazing! Jesus has taught me sweet little lessons through you all and I am so thankful! And as I said before 'Thank You' doesn't seem to express our appreciate and thankfulness for the support we have received. I never thought we would feel such love and caring as we watched our inbox fill up with post comments and emails as well as sweet comments from FB'ers. We are so thankful to share this road with so many others. It makes the tasks ahead feel so much less daunting. While we have read some really great adoption books, the blog community is such a source of support and encouragement. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help, but for the emotional health of our family, I will certainly look to many of you AP's who have experience and not attempt to go it alone.

4. Family Bonding: Last question... we've been encouraged by many to "hibernate" for a period of time upon our return home. While I know children and situations vary greatly (in our case - older child adoption of three kids), how long did it take for you to begin going in public and having visitors into your home?

We Passed!

In God's perfect timing, we became a family of seven today.

It is with great joy and honor that we introduce to you to the newest members of our family...

Ellyn Yeabsira (left)

Corinne Meserat (right)

Haileb Turner (center)

This was the first picture we saw of our children.

And here's more...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Thank you doesn't seem to fully express how we feel for the love and support we have received from the adoption blog world, family and friends.

Now off to check on other's blogs and make a fresh to-do list for travel plans!

Not Today... Tomorrow?

Mary called to say that Gladney supplied the requested document to the judge today. However, Gladney supplied a copy and the judge requested the original. And if you are thinking the same as we did, "Why didn't they supply the original!!" Mary said it is common that they supply copies, so it was a little unusual for the judge to ask for the original.

So...

The judge will re-open the case tomorrow. And we pray that there are no more delays.

Dustin and I are thankful for all the encouragement. Patience is not a strength of mine, so I am choosing to use this time as an opportunity to grow.

God's timing is perfect!

Tomorrow?

We're all wondering if tomorrow will be the day we pass court.  

Madison and I walked this evening after dinner.  While we were walking and talking she asked me if I would wake her up at 2:00 a.m. so that we could pray together for court.  Our sweet Madison.  God is good.

Tomorrow is Sage's 10th birthday and we'll start the day off with serving him breakfast in bed.  Dustin started it years ago for one of my birthdays and the kids look forward to it every year.

Hoping we get to share three new beautiful faces tomorrow.  

Not Today

Sweet Mary called with the unwanted news that we did not pass court today. However, it is o.k. The judge is requesting an additional piece of information. My heart feels good knowing that the Ethiopian courts take the future of their children seriously.

Today's news really isn't what we hoped for, but we do go forward trusting that God is at work and His ways are not always our ways.

We are all four bummed. But it really is o.k. How many times have I read in other blogs that international adoption is not for the faint of heart?!? So true.

Our new court date is June 16th. That is Sage's 10th birthday!

A Family of 4 to a Family of 7 Tomorrow?

It is so hard to believe that our court date is tomorrow! In some ways this last year has been so very long. In other ways, it seems like just yesterday we were nervously beginning this process hoping to adopt a child from Ethiopia. Hmmm, we love it that God had other plans for our family.

So as we sleep (or not sleep) tonight, our children's future will be discussed by some individuals that we likely will never meet this side of heaven. Our prayer is for God's beautiful and perfect will and timing. However, I keep reminding God that we really would love to pass court tomorrow.

We received a quick update on the kids today. They looked as if maybe it were morning and were just getting up and around. They had those sweet sleepy eyes. Moms, you know the ones I am talking about!

Thinking of all the other families with court dates this week!

Many, O Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.
-Psalm 40:5

A Week in Pictures

Less than two weeks until our May 20th court date!

Here's a little of life at our house recently. In no particular order:

New window treatment's for the girls' room! My mom and grandmother made them and we love them! They really help to put the finishing touches on the room.

Madison recently got out all of her American Girl stuff. She set up the doll bed, washed and ironed the doll bed sheets and organized all of her outfits and accessories to share with her new sisters. We ordered new AG dolls for Y and M. We hope they like them!

Now all we need are two sweet little girls to make the room complete!

For a last little trip as a family of four, we went to the Gladney Skittle Event at Six Flags last weekend. Sage has always wanted to try lobster and he got his chance during lunch at one of our favorite restaurants Papadeaux's.

We enjoyed a Texas Rangers vs. Chicago White Sox game during the weekend. We arrived at the field early to watch batting practice. (That's why the stadium seats are empty!)

Cole, Riley, Evyn, Madison, Anaka and Sage

We spent the evening at Six Flags with cousins and new friends. We loved that there were no waiting lines for the rides. The kids thought it was pretty cool to get to ride over and over without getting out of their seat.

Sage, Madison, Marta and Yordee

The highlight of our evening at Six Flags was meeting Ryan and Abby Brown, their daughter Marta and Ryan's sister Yordee. Ryan has sent the updates on our kids and Marta helped to translate our letters to the kids in Ethiopia. We were able to ask questions about our kids as well as hear Ryan and Abby's stories of God working in their lives. Truly a blessing.

Dustin grew up riding motorcycles and has always talked of buying a dirt bike ever since we were married. His 40th birthday is coming up and he purchased his birthday gift for himself... a 2006 Suzuki RM250. The bike was previously owned by Cody Elkins, a professional FMX rider.

This picture was taken just before he popped a wheelie. I really don't think I'll be riding his motorcycle again anytime soon. (I was kind and didn't post Dustin's injury pictures. He's had a couple of pretty good crashes along with some very sore ribs. Yes, he always wears a helmet... just not in this photo.)

Our soon to be 10 year old son getting ready for his first peewee baseball game. To say that Sage is passionate about baseball is an understatement.

Bedrooms, Easter and Amharic

Here's a few pictures of some of the improvements we've made around the house. Y and M's room is chocolate and pink. The window treatments will look so cute when they are installed. After 2 1/2 months of waiting, Sage and H's bunk bed finally arrived. Madison's loft bedroom is painted in an adorable combination of guacamole/lime green and chocolate brown. We still have pictures to hang on the wall and odd and ends to finish, but these are a few 'in progress' pics.

Even though it is hard to see in the photo, we extended our kitchen bar to make an "L" shape and added new formica and a tiled backsplash.

Easter was fun but the rain limited our egg hunt to the indoors. We all thought out loud about how much fun Easter would be next year with all the kids together!


Sage took hunting very seriously and borrowed an extra bucket to hold his prizes.

Cousins Sage, Jack, Madison and Grayson

We were excited to find a book and cd titled Amharic for Adoptive Families. Some of you AP's may already have this great little resource. The author, Amy Kendall (an adoptive mom herself), has done a fantastic job of putting together basic phrases and key words in a small spiral book. The audio cd has been so helpful to get the emphasis just right on many of the words and phrases. Amy has books in other languages, too. A portion of the proceeds go to help children who are waiting for forever families.

Madison's Second Hospital Visit

This time it was for an outpatient surgery to remove her kidney stone.  We prayed it would pass on its own, but the urologist said the stone was just too big.  

She was a champ and sailed through surgery and recovery.  We had an excellent nurse, which made the procedure so much better.  Madison is really bummed because she will miss a few track meets until she is released for sports.

Hair Day

We received a picture of our girls this morning. (What a great way to start the week!) It brought a huge smile to our faces. Mary T. explained that the picture was taken on hair day, a day when the kids get their hair washed and styled. Just had to share a bit of the photo. This picture is of Y and M along with one of their friends. Less than two months until the court date!

Star Struck in Fort Worth

Yep, that's me.  Star struck.  By Gladney folk, of course!

We were so glad to travel to Fort Worth last night for an Ethiopian meal at the Gladney Center.  There are so many heroes and stars in the adoption community and it was so wonderful to get to meet a few of them.  Stars like Rebecca, Jana, Lori and Jami.  And also to see Eli and Rebecca again!  Eli is fast tracking to rock star status himself as the "cover model" on a new Gladney video of Ethiopia.

And then there were the stars and heroes that we met like Belay Tafesse and his family, along with Travis and Joanna Norwood.  We introduced ourselves to Belay and he knew right away who our kids were without us saying their names.  This is a man who works with hundreds of people in Ethiopia and he knew the connection between our children and us.  He sure knows how to make a person feel special!

And last, but not least, was the wonderful Mary T.  Mary has been so completely professional, prompt, helpful and honest with every step of our adoption process.  However, last night we saw her love and passion for Ethiopia's children in living color.  She is the real deal.  We researched agencies and all of our studies and reading led us to Gladney.  We initially thought we wanted to work with more of a faith based agency, but are so glad that we get to share this adoption experience with the people of Gladney.  To see Gladney staff tear up over the Ethiopian video really touched Dustin and me.  These people work in adoptions every day and yet it doesn't feel like it is just a job to them.  Sure, it's work and work isn't always fun but we saw hearts passionate for children to become loved by forever families.

So yes, we were star struck by those people with whom we share a common bond and heart for Ethiopia and for adoption.

Posting from the Hospital

Crazy day today.  Madison is in the hospital with a kidney stone.  All of her symptoms led doctors to believe she had appendicitis.  After a CT tonight, it's a kidney stone.  We're waiting on pain meds and hoping she passes the stone tonight.

We were all prepared for surgery and even though a kidney stone is no walk in the park, we're thankful that Mad doesn't have to have surgery.  We would be so thankful for any prayers offered on her behalf.

Thank you, God, for your love and peace in all things.